Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson from none other than my partner. Its one that I often find myself saying to friends – and yet its a lesson that I find the hardest to do myself. Listen to your body.
I’ve been terribly sick this week with some form of strep throat and then a wicked sinus cold on top of that. As a result I’ve been miserable, whiny and definitely not my normal sexy and productive self. Also this week I have my partners birthday (today) AND I received my Freestyle W courtesy of OhMiBod just yesterday. As a result, I’ve wanted to not only test out what the Freestyle W has to offer – but also spend some quality time under the sheets with my man. Problem is; Im sick and my libido is non-existent.
This is where I need to take my own advice: Listen to your body!
My body is clearly telling me I need to focus on getting better – not getting off. And as much as I find it frustrating, I know my body is telling me the right thing. However its not only a cold or virus that can knock your libido off track. Your libido is one of your bodies natural indicators that something is wrong. While its natural to have highs and lows – its not natural for it to all of a sudden plummet. This could be a signal for things such as depression, stress, too little sleep, a new medication (antidepressants, blood pressure medication, chemotherapy, anti-HIV drugs and more are known for affecting your libido), poor body image, obesity and/or weight gain, low testosterone, menopause and thyroid problems. If you notice your libido plummet and you haven’t changed anything recently – get your sexy butt to a doc ASAP.
By far two of the biggest factors in an out-of-wack libido is depression and stress. So what can you do to fix that? Spend time with friends. Studies have shown that spending time with loved ones decreases stress felt by work, school etc. Take time to work out – get the testosterone pumping and you might notice you feel a little more bounce in your step. Be productive and SCHEDULE time to worry/stress, as well as time for sex and/or masturbation. Even if you SCHEDULE sex/masturbation, it might take out the suprise element but it shows you’re making it a priority to yourself AND your partner. Soon enough you won’t have to schedule it because you’ll be back to your normal self.
So why not just coast along in your low-libido funk? Sure you might get more work done, laundry might get folded and you won’t have to wash the sheets as often but lets look at just SOME of the benefits of sex/masturbation (other than being fun and feeling good of course). Sex releases endorphins. And those of you who have seen Legally Blonde know that endorphins make you happy – and happy people don’t just kill their husbands! It strengthens your pelvic floor muscles – you’ll thank me come festival concert season when you’ve got a 30 min lineup just to pee. New research has also shown that once-a-week sex produces 30% higher levels of immunoglobulin A, which boosts your immune system. In addition to being an immune system booster, sex is also a natural antihistamine.
Second on the list – is my pressure I’m putting on myself to create this super amazing day for my partners birthday. At the end of the day – he is just happy playing Mass Effect 3 while I snuggle him on the couch. Its more important to him that I feel better than he get some out-of-this-world awesome 25th birthday. While I appreciate and recognize that I have one of the most accepting partners in the world – I still feel pressure to create my ‘vision’ of his birthday that I had planned out in my head. While I’m NEVER one to advocate ‘giving’ someone sex for an occasion, as it creates resentment when given as a reward or taken away/withheld as punishment – I feel as if I’m letting my partner down by not being able to give him the ‘all about you’ experience on his birthday.
Reality check – I’m sick and miserable and even IF I decided to ‘fake it till you feel it’ I know that not only will a) my partner see right through it, but b) I look and feel super attractive with bloodshot eyes, red nose and my hair on top of my head in a sumo bun/yoga hair. Not.
So now its time for me to take care of my body and rest. Once I’m feeling better than maybe some product testing and wrestling under the sheets with my man is in order.